Jerks & Irks VII: Stick to whatcha know

Its rainy and damp outside. I’m still in bed, Kindle Fire in hand, and I’ve found a book cover/title that caught my eye. I click on it. It meets my criteria for length (I hate it when a book doesn’t tell you its a novella or a short story and I get bamboozled into paying $2.99 for 87 pages, which only technically translates into 2.2 hours of actual reading time). I peruse the reviews, they’re glowing for the most part. Except one. One freaking JERK out of 152 reviewers has decided that this particular book isn’t worth four shiny stars on Amazon. I click on this one review against my better judgement: its not like this one JERK is actually a literary genius and knows something about reading that the rest of us mere morons do not. But alas, after reading the acerbic little diatribe, this JERK just simply doesn’t like and/or usually doesn”t read the genre this book falls under. Ugh! I can’t explain how often this happens.


JERK REVIEWER A: “I’m a super manly man. I didn’t understand why “The Glitter Pony,” a YA paranormal romance, didn’t have more gunplay and car chases and international intrigue. What a waste. This book sucks.”

JERK REVIEWER B: “Seeing a commercial for The Walking Dead gives me nightmares but I decided to read “Zombie Lore and Gore” anyway. Boy, was this book terrible! What was the author thinking with all that bloody and disgusting imagery? Ugh, no thank you!”

You know what all this reminds me of? My brief bartending stint at a New Orleans themed restaurant in Philly. People would order Sazeracs because they had heard of them somewhere in their lives and were trying to be cool. They ignored the fact that the drink includes whiskey and a licorice-flavored liquor, then they would snootily push the drink back over the bar towards me because they didn’t like it. They blamed ME! They would whisper to themselves that if they had ordered the drink in New Orleans it would taste better. Despite the fact that I was trained how to make it by a person who was FROM NEW ORLEANS for crying out Mardi Gras!!! Agghh!

But I digress…The point is, feel free to leave your comfort zone, but don’t blame the new zone for its entire existence just because it’s not to your liking. You big, stupid, IRKSOME JERK.

Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge, the above examples are not excerpts of actual reviews and the sentiments expressed are not in reference to actual book titles. Please don’t sue me. I have nothing. Except a facebook and a twitter. Feel free to hit the “Like” and “Follow” buttons.