Insecurities Abound!

I’ve been pretty down in the dumps, guys. A real sophomore slump. Let me explain. My prelude novella, Blood in the Past (released this time last year), did pretty well. No one really had a bad word to say about it. I was proud of myself…and then terror set in.

Last year, as I was editing and revising the full-length follow-up to Past, Blood in the Paint, I began to worry that it wouldn’t measure up, that my creative prowess had a quota and I had used up everything in my reserve to write Blood in the Past. As a result, I hit the Publish button on Blood in the Paint a few months ago with closed eyes. I dragged my feet with the paperback edition. I haven’t sent out many review copies, and I haven’t done much promotion. I’m subconsciously forcing myself, and my Blood for Blood series, to fade into oblivion. I’m making my own nightmare, of my sophomore release not measuring up, a reality. Or am I?

When the news of Blood in the Paint’s release broke, I had an immediate spike in sales. I might have been able to capitalize on those numbers had I done some promoting. After I ordered my first shipment of Blood in the Paint paperbacks, I almost sold out of them…and I still have two events to do this week. And the reviews? The reviews have been pretty awesome. There are only nine so far (actually, as I’m writing this, a TENTH popped up!), none of which were written by me or hubby-pants, but they are all FIVE-STAR. Every single one of them. My mother-in-law, who awarded Blood in the Past with a three-star review, is raving about Paint. As is my father-in-law, who keeps asking how the next book will unfold. My niece even forgot about her “ghetto reality shows” (her words, not mine), because she’d been so caught-up in reading it. You guys don’t know my niece, but that’s probably the best compliment I could have received, short of something from Gillian Flynn herself.

So what’s the problem? Why haven’t I really written anything since April, when I went on a writing retreat, where there was nothing to do BUT write? I still feel unworthy, I still feel talentless, I still feel like everyone’s compliments are a fluke. Then I read a recent review of Blood in the Paint written by Ileandra Young. You can read the full review here, but the part I want to point out is when she mentioned a Facebook status where she posted, “Soooooooooo that feeling of inadequacy you feel while reading a fellow indie author’s novel then returning to your own WIP.” Guys, I actually remembered that status, I even Liked it because I knew the feeling. Turns out, she was talking about Blood in the Paint. Words cannot thank her enough for sharing that with her followers and blog readers and, most importantly, me. Between that and the pep talk hubby-pants gave me recently (more on that in another post, I think), I might be ready to write again. At the very least, I might be ready to begin my medico-legal research to make sure my next book, Blood in the Paper, is on the right track.

In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy this week, which happens to be the one-year anniversary of Blood in the Past’s publication. To celebrate (and get back into promoting for the love of everything sacred and holy), Blood in the Past will be FREE on Wednesday, June 18th, and Blood in the Paint will be dropped to $1.99 today through Friday, June 20th. If you haven’t read them yet, now is the time to do so. Because, I’ve been down in the dumps and sales will make me feel better. 😉

18 thoughts on “Insecurities Abound!

  1. Sorry you’ve been in a writing slump, hon. I guess I don’t need to tell you I know the feeling. 😉

    I’m glad my words were able to help you, even if it was just venting at the time. I’m even happier to hear you’re ‘back on the horse’ (god I hate that phrase, I need a new one… the WORLD needs a new one).

    I, and several others, certainly won’t be happy if you keep us waiting too long for Blood In The Paper :p.

    • Thanks, babe. I really appreciate it. I’ll get working, but first I have a beta read to finish. 😉

      And, the world does need a new saying. All that saying does is make me sad that I don’t have a horse. They’re so pretty!

  2. I’ve been suffering through a writers intermission (that’s my new phrase for it) myself. Mine has been more of a, too busy with college and also college sucked the creativity out of me, but I’m slowly getting back into the groove. You’ll get there. I think it’s hard because Blood in the Past was so good, it’s a tough act to follow but clearly you’ve managed and I have the utmost faith in your abilities. :D. I promise after graduation this Thursday I will finish up the book and write a review. I do apologize it’s taken me so long, graduation has been a little crazier than I expected. *hugs*

    • Thanks, AJ. Take your time. I’m sorry a out your own “writers intermission” (great term, btw). I have been busy getting us ready to move down south and I’ve been mostly blaming my inability to write on that preoccupation. Maybe you’re doing the same with college, maybe not. But I’m as confident in you as you in me. We got this.

      • Moving will definitely do that to a person. Truthfully my writing issues were a number of things, not the least of which was the fact I’d written myself into a corner that I only recently found a way out of. That said, I do believe we’ve got this. And good luck with moving to a new state, that’s very exciting and I know a lot of work. I’ve done it twice now and it does require a bit of recovery afterwards (though I find most moving even within the same state requires a bit of recovery). We’ll get there. 🙂

  3. Fear of failure is a big obstacle to climb, especially after having success & raising the bar.
    Remember to have fun again & I’m sure the words will begin flowing from your mind onto the page.
    Good luck!

  4. Pingback: The Silkworm By J.K. Rowling…And Some Great Indies | The Write Transition

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