Last week I listed a bunch of jerky quirks of mine that may keep me from reading a book. Turns out they weren’t so jerky. At least not in the eyes of the commenters on that post. But during the course of the week, I realized I forgot one. A big one.
Puntastic titles. You know what I’m talking about.
- Between a Glock and a Hard Place
- A Nerd in the Hand
- Two Birds with One Bone
- Fight the Bullet
- Stud is Quicker Than Water
- Break the Vice
- Fought Red-Handed
- Give the Bold Shoulder
- Teased as Punch
- Rule of Numb
You get the picture, right? Why do I hate puns? Ironically I don’t. I like puns. I named my personal publishing company Blood Read Press, (pronounced “Blood Red”), for heaven’s sake. Maybe it’s because porn titles are usually some cheesy pun or another (Arma-get-it On, anyone?). If you read over the above list with a gutter-friendly-mentality, some of them even sound like porn titles.
As far as I know, these aren’t actual book titles. I just made them up for the purposes of this post. (See, I’m even good at puns. I guess that’s why I can always come up with a good fantasy football team name.)
But, if your book title is punny, I really hope the blurb is outstanding.
Because otherwise I won’t read it.
Because I’m a jerk.
I giggled at “Stud is Quicker than Water.” But I honestly hate puns in general. Even when they’re funny, I hate them. But I also won’t read a book with a punny title.
Again, I’m not alone! Down with punny titles!
I don’t normally read books with punny titles. I think because most porn movies have punny titles, so I guess I kind of assume the book will be porny.
Ha! You noticed the correlation with porn too, huh? Nice.
Ha! it’s never come up before, but iI might let myself read a book.with a punny title. It’s never come up.
Let me know if it does!
In fact I feel obliged to go out looking for them now!