Jerks & Irks XXXV: Puntastic Titles

Last week I listed a bunch of jerky quirks of mine that may keep me from reading a book. Turns out they weren’t so jerky. At least not in the eyes of the commenters on that post. But during the course of the week, I realized I forgot one. A big one.

Puntastic titles. You know what I’m talking about.

  • Between a Glock and a Hard Place
  • A Nerd in the Hand
  • Two Birds with One Bone
  • Fight the Bullet
  • Stud is Quicker Than Water
  • Break the Vice
  • Fought Red-Handed
  • Give the Bold Shoulder
  • Teased as Punch
  • Rule of Numb

You get the picture, right? Why do I hate puns? Ironically I don’t. I like puns. I named my personal publishing company Blood Read Press, (pronounced “Blood Red”), for heaven’s sake. Maybe it’s because porn titles are usually some cheesy pun or another (Arma-get-it On, anyone?). If you read over the above list with a gutter-friendly-mentality, some of them even sound like porn titles.

As far as I know, these aren’t actual book titles. I just made them up for the purposes of this post. (See, I’m even good at puns. I guess that’s why I can always come up with a good fantasy football team name.)

But, if your book title is punny, I really hope the blurb is outstanding.

Because otherwise I won’t read it.

Because I’m a jerk.

 

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