Hubby-pants and I haven’t done the kid thing yet. But now that I’m home more, getting my novel-on, I’m also with our two cats more. Don’t get me wrong, I love the furry little frickers. One’s pudgy and feisty. The other one’s tiny and skittish. Like really skittish. Like sneeze while she’s creeping into the room and she’ll jump a foot and a half in the air kind of skittish. But anyway, they have their own little personalities and I enjoy their general existence (who am I kidding, I really do love them), but they seriously irk the crap outta me. Especially when I’m writing.
Cats are intuitive creatures. They know kids will be in the picture soon, so they’re preparing me…by getting on my nerves. Crying, running, jumping, vomiting on the carpet and NOT on the tile (yes, I’m convinced they do that on purpose), eating random foreign objects, etc. Incidentally I’m now armed with a full arsenal of phrases that I just know I’ll have to use in the future when I’m home alone with the kids. Here they are:
- “Get down from there!”
- “What’s in your mouth?”
- “Don’t touch that!”
- “Get off the laptop. Mommy’s writing!”
- “Dont eat that!”
- “Go play with your sister. Mommy’s writing.”
- “Where is your sister?”
- “Get that out of your mouth!”
- “Leave Daddy’s shoes alone!”
- “FOR GOD’S SAKE STOP EATING THAT!!! AND GET OFF THE DAMN LAPTOP!!!”
Does this sound like you and your pets? Or do you already have kids? Do any of these scolding phrases sound familiar? In other words, am I on the right track here?
journeyofjordannaeast 
Omg – this is so funny. My cat is exactly the same way. They will certainly help prepare you for children. And what is it about writers being cat people?
I think it’s because dogs require you to go outside and walk them and writers don’t want to leave their computer. Haha.
My cat likes to shove stuff down the drain, hide stuff…he actually pulled my daughter’s ipod off the charger and took off a few feet with it before she was able to stop him.
Wow. My cats aren’t quite that bad. But the pudgy one does steal my scrunchies…
Lol! Too funny! Yep, the phrases sound VERY familiar. With stepchildren, god children, nieces and nephews, I think I’ve used most of them.
Good, I got it right. I hate to presume things about child rearing. Lol. Glad you enjoyed the post. 🙂
Brilliant post Love it! 🙂
Thanks, Peppa!!! 😛
My (not so) secret nickname is seeping its way into the open Internet! Lol 😀
I know, I’m sorry. I’m mostly responsible for that. I just think it’s so darn adorable. 🙂
You are one of many that use it out in the open online 🙂 my nephew gave me it because when he was younger he couldn’t say Peter and when he could he still called me Peppa 😀
Aww, what a cute piece of Peter Germany trivia! 🙂
Ha ha ha! Yep, I use most of those every single day! I even have to fight them for my tiny little desk!
Trust me, they’re worse than kids because you can’t ground them lol
Still, the worst pet I had was my Bernese Mountain dog, who use to take my clean and freshly folded laundry out of the basket and run down the bottom of the garden with it just to get my attention!
Xx
Can’t ground them! I didn’t even think of that!
Just out of curiosity, what happened to your dog? You didn’t get really fed up one day and…
Awwwww, nooooo, she died honey, last June. She had a tumour 😦
Xx
Oh that’s so sad, I’m sorry. 😦