What Do YOU Call “Homemade?”

People post pictures of their meals and desserts on Facebook, Instagram, and heaven knows where else. And that’s fine. I’ve been known to do it once or twice when I make a fancy batch of cookies or cutesy football Sunday snacks. What bugs me is when someone claims their image is of a “homemade” quality, when it’s clearly not by virtue of appearance or their own bone-headed description of the meal and/or recipe. Just because you poured some canned apples into a pre-made crust and tossed it in the oven, instead of stopping by the bakery, doesn’t mean you’ve presented a homemade apple pie. (Again, nothing wrong with making a pie this way. It’s just not homemade.)

My favorite example of this is my sister. I love my sister, but she’s not the cook in the family. I won’t say who is, but let’s just say she’s a beautiful blogger with a novella entitled Blood in the Past coming out late next month. Anyway, back to my sister. Months ago she invited me and Hubby-pants over for dinner. She poured a jar of sauce into a pot and seasoned it. All the while she stirred and tasted. Held the wooden spoon to my mouth so I could sample her masterpiece. Honest to God she bragged about how pasta sauce is her specialty. And she was serious. She thought she was making sauce. Our grandmother was Italian. I wouldn’t be surprised if the ground above her grave was disturbed from all the turning that went on below it. Personally, it was all I could do to keep my brain from leaking out of my ears.

The reason why I offer up this little anecdote is because of people who claim to do their own editing. Just because you combed your book for errant quotations marks and the-random-misspelled-word-that’s-still-actually-a-word-so-spell-check-missed-it, doesn’t mean it’s edited. Trust me. Do your readers a favor: Save up for an editor. Just because it looks perfect to you, an apt reader would be able to taste, I mean tell, the difference.

Now hire that editor, for the love of homemade apple pie!