Some of you may have guessed, correctly, that I don’t work at the bookstore anymore. I mean, how could I possibly when there hasn’t been a Jerks & Irks post for weeks, right? Well, that whole debacle is a long story. But you all are in luck! I thought of one final thing that irked me when I worked there!
When I sat behind the counter, hiding behind a stack of books to sneak some writing in, people would enter the store through the doors immediately to my right and left. Many times, as soon as they passed the threshold, they would exclaim, “Look at all the BOOKS!” This irked me to no end. There are only three justifications for such admiration of the amount of books in a bookstore:
- They are travelers from the future who have heard of books but come from an era dominated by electronic readers and so they have never really seen so many books in one place, if at all.
- They suffer from Benjamin Button syndrome and although they appear to be fully grown adults they are actually toddlers and have never really seen so many books in one place, if at all.
I’m sure none of these are true, however. So I’ve decided that from now on, I’m going to make similar proclamations when I enter stores. Such as:
- “Look at all the FOOD!” when I enter a grocery store.
- “Look at all the ANIMALS!” when I enter a pet store.
- “Look at all the DRUGS!” when I enter a pharmacy.(I might sound like a crack head with this one. Yikes!)
- “Look at all the CLOTHES!” when I enter a department store…
- Better yet, “Look at all the STORES!” when I enter the mall! (I would need the assistance of a bull horn for this one.)
The possibilities are endless. This could be fun…