Jerks & Irks XI: Bullied? Baloney!

I’m sure most of you follow the news. And by news I don’t mean Oprah’s interview with Kim Kardashian about the latter’s relationship with Kanye West. That’s not news. That’s a mockery of the entertainment world. But anyway…

Recent headlines have been swirling around the bus monitor who was caught on camera being bullied by the student bus riders. The video went viral and some sap started a collection for the lady that has raised over $500,000 for the her to take a vacation. I don’t know what kind of vacation bus monitor lady plans on taking, but I’m pretty sure the moon itself is now an affordable option.

So why am I irked?

First off, I have a HUGE problem with the anti-bullying campaign. I was bullied as a child. Most people were. My generation and those before me just dealt with it. If you were smart, you stood up for yourself. You fought back even. And I don’t know of anyone who has fought back against a bully and the bullying did not cease to continue. So when did we start coddling those who were bullied? When did they get so soft? When did bullying start ruining people’s lives forever? I just don’t get it. Bullying is supposed to toughen you up. If you’re not bullied early on in life, then childhood is such a dreamboat that when life actual hits you later, rocks your dreamboat with a tidal wave, you fall overboard and drown. I’m not saying bullying makes the world go ’round. And I’m not downplaying the unfortunate cases of suicide. But I do believe that bullying is a necessary evil.

So now we have this GROWN ASS WOMAN who was bullied on a bus. At her JOB. Where she was PAID. We all know that kids are A-hole-hats! Therefore, being a bus monitor is going to suck. It’s expected. It’s part of the job. Don’t like it? Get a new job. The economy is tough? Then suck it up and be thankful you have a job. As Hubby-pants said, “It’s like a sewage worker being upset that they smell like poo.” (Yes, we’re like-minded people.)

So I guess you can say I’m irked on a number of levels, but most of all, the fact that this lady gets half a million dollars to play with. She gets rewarded for being bullied and not doing anything about it (I read somewhere that she refused to report the bullying to the school system so the children could be reprimanded. WTH?). I can think of at least a dozen other professions whose workers deserve a vacation more than this lady.

Now I’m sure this blog is going to alienate me and might even cause me to lose a few followers, but so be it. All I ask  is that you strike a respectful discord in the comments section below and don’t send an angry mob to my house. But if you do, know that I’ll be filming the whole thing and a collection will be started in MY name and I’LL get to go to the moon and you’ll feel sheepish.

6 thoughts on “Jerks & Irks XI: Bullied? Baloney!

  1. Thanks for voicing the very contrary thoughts I have been keeping to myself all week. Honestly, I’m so cynical, I’m wondering about whether this whole thing has been staged. The fact she insisted on not reporting them or pressing charges is either suspicious or – well, just plain sad.

  2. I have mixed feelings on the woman getting all that money, to be sure. But as someone who suffered bullying for years in school, I am all for the campaign to raise awareness. True, some people react to bullying by toughening up. But others react very differently and for years, these children were lost and criticized for being weak. I was not weak. I learned to survive through a sense of humor and by hiding my true self from everyone (even myself). Thirty years later, I am still dealing with the profound ramifications of that bullying–psychological, emotional, sexual, and spiritual.

    Because of the bullying I endured in school (and out of it), I lost any hope of becoming the true self I was to be. I became warped by it, lacking in trust, full of self-loathing and self-doubt, a dark, dark pit wrapped up in tin foil and glitter. I am only now beginning to peel back that tin foil, and what I’m finding underneath is dank and saddening.

    I know many kids learn courage and strength by facing adversity. All I learned was self-loathing, fear, and how to hide in plain sight. We are all different, and I’m so very happy for you that you were able to find the good in that difficult situation.

    You were lucky. So was I. We lived to debate the merits and flaws in anti-bullying campaigns. But how many people did I know, did you know, who did not survive? How many people either took their own live out of despair and self-loathing, or wound up involved in deadly situations they simply could not handle because they had no place to turn?

    So, yes (having been a substitute teacher myself), I know that children can be monstrous animals and that as an adult, she should have been able to handle the situation.

    But as an eight year old, as a ten year old, as a fifteen year old struggling with sexual identity, I wasn’t able to handle it. I really could have used a movement like this–not to coddle me, but to give me hope I desperately needed.

    • You made mention of being bullied “out of school.” If this is to mean you were bullied at home, that’s not what I’m referring to. You also mentioned your struggle with sexual identity, also not what I’m referring to. Since I have dealt with neither of these circumstances, I will not tell you how to feel. I will tell you how I feel.

      In my lifetime I was taken from my schizophrenic mother at the age of five. When my father was finally allowed to visit me at my grandmother’s, he died shortly after. Then my grandmother, the only mother I could cognitively remember, died. I was raped twice during my high school years. My mother died several years ago, just as I was getting to understand how to work around her mental illness. I’ve been mugged at gunpoint. My best friend died at the age of 30, before we could make up from a fight that occurred a year earlier. After having dealt with all of these things, I can honestly, without hesitation, say that I would give ANYTHING to have childhood bullying be my ugliest and most painful memory. Good luck to you with your healing.

  3. I’m all in favor of speaking up against bullying, and I definitely think children and teens who are bullied need a lot of love and support.

    But I think the case currently in the news, is different because the bullied party is not only an adult, but one whose job was to (hello) monitor behavior on that bus. Hence the job title “Bus Monitor.”

    One of that lady’s duties was keeping those kids in line, so I’m baffled as to why she didn’t take down their names and ask the principal to have them removed from the bus. Or better yet, call 911, have the driver pull the bus over, and then file charges against the kids for threatening her. She’s the adult. She’s the one parents tell their kids to go to if they’re being bullied or in danger. Instead, she put up with extraordinarily bad behavior from the kids then refused to press charges or have them disciplined in any way. Geez, no wonder the kids on that bus are so out of control.

    Adults letting child bullies run roughshod over them are also going to let those bullies run roughshod over the other kids. So as a parent, I’m really disturbed by the message this lady’s story has given to the non-bullying kids on that bus – and kids like them all over the country. To me, the message is that no one is looking out for those kids at all.

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