Jerks & Irks VI: Awards (Yay!) & Twitter (Boo!)

For those of you keeping track, the JERKS at Twitter have suspended me for an IRKSOME third time! I won’t bore anyone to a twitching wretch of their former selves with another firsthand account of my extreme displeasure, so just click here and change the date of the post in your mind. Also, if you feel like helping out the cause, email help@twitter.com and inform them that they’re morons for continuously suspending my @JordannaEast account. Personally, I think they’re just jealous of my networking prowess.

To ensure that the evil-doers over at Twitter don’t win, I will try to focus on the positive: Two extreme NON-Jerks have nominated me for blog awards.

The lovely Whitney Rains over at A Serendipitous Happenstance nominated me for The Versatile Blogger Award. She is working on her first novel as well and I enjoy knowing I’m not alone in my endeavor. Bloggers like her make me feel like I belong to a First Novel Writer’s of the World Support Group. For my duty, not only must I give her a shout out for the nomination, but I also have to share 7 facts about myself and nominate 15 others.

Fact 1. I own ten pairs of Pumas. Not ten pairs of large cats, but the sneakers. I used to sort of collect them. Then I started to enjoy having money to feed myself. Now I wish I just had a plain pair of white ones to go with everything.

Fact 2. My favorite color is red. My phone is red. My camera is red. My Kindle cover is red. My Xbox controller is red. You get the picture. Oh, and if you haven’t noticed, my blog is pretty red too.

Fact 3. I’ve been married for seven months and have yet to have my license changed because I hate the DMV. In fact, DMV should stand for Devil of Motherf*&%ing Vehicles.

Fact 4. Rain water touching my face REALLY freaks me out. If it’s raining and I’m walking somewhere on a crowded street without an umbrella…oh my god I can’t even finish that thought.

Fact 5. Snow touching my face doesn’t bother me at all. I find it quite refreshing.

Fact 6. Both my cats are named after foods (Muffin & Peanut). Those weren’t their original names, but they have evolved over time.

Fact 7. I actually enjoy sharing odd facts about myself.

Here are my nominees for The Versatile Blogger Award: A Portia Adams Adventure, Sharon C. Cooper, Cult of Racewood, D.C. McMillen, Sharkbait Writes, In and Out of Place, and sniderwriter. Okay, so that’s only seven blogs, but I have two awards to nominate people for! Anyway, they are all exceptionally entertaining and I implore you to give them a gander.

Jai Farris nominated me for the Liebster Award. I’m thrilled because I was the first blog listed. I’m sure that didn’t actually mean anything and the order was, in fact, random, but I’m convincing myself that I’m his favorite. You should also know that his blog, The Writer’s Advice, is one of my favorites. I’m pretty sure I read each and every post in its entirety (which is rare because sometimes I just can’t muster that kind of attention span). Besides the shout out, my duty here is simply to nominate five other deserving up and comers whose blogs have less than 200 followers. (Thought you were getting more fun facts, didn’t you? Haha, you have to wait until someone else thinks I’m awesome and nominates me for another award. Nana nana naaah nah!) And the nominees are (in my Academy Awards presenter voice): SBibbs’s Photo Illustration, Switzy Thoughts, Presents of Mind, BeKindRewrite, and Axolotl Ceviche. I must confess I have absolutely no clue how to tell how many followers a blogger has, so I just picked 5 more blogs I love. Please don’t report me to the Blog Award Police.

I would like to thank Whitney and Jai again for the awards, and if you’ll excuse me, I have to go email Twitter again…