So let us recap: The first Jerks & Irks was about Coming of Age novels and last week’s edition touched on stupidly short book descriptions coupled with an over-abundance of quotes of praise for the author. (These recaps are gonna get lengthy after awhile, huh? Hmm…)
This week’s rant was inspired by fellow blogger karmicangel, over at a Portia Adams Adventure (click either link, they both whisk you away to her fantabulousness), who commented that she wished there were a happy medium to what I was describing and the long-winded-leave nothing-to-the-imagination descriptions that look something like this:
“Susan met a guy named Brian at a bookstore in Connecticut when they both reached for the same copy of ‘Pride and Prejudice.’ They hit it off and got married after a brief courtship. But he was hiding a deadly secret. Don’t worry (*Oh I wasn’t worried, I was just gonna read the book*), the secret was that he was on the lam from killing his previous wife (*Not a secret anymore*). Her name was Jessica. She was from Wisconsin, but he killed her in Kansas during a tornado. At first it looked like an accident, but eventually the police figured it out and came looking for Brian. Will the police catch up with Brian and will Susan find out about his dark past? (*Gasp*) Well, yes and no. (*Oh goodie, I was afraid I was going to have to read the book*) The police eventually find out that Brian is now in Connecticut, but to everyone’s surprise (*except mine because I read this desription*), Susan stands up for her new husband and they concoct a daring plan to evade the police and live happily ever after in a non-extradition country. (*I was wondering how it ends, but thank you. Now I have nothing to look forward to*)”
A bit much, but you get my drift. So here’s to the jerks who write descriptions like these and wonder why their books sales are abysmal. Cheers Jerks!!!