The Girl With The Ikea Table, er, I Mean, Dragon Tattoo

So, I’m halfway through The Girls With the Dragon Tattoo Trilogy. Its been a week since I’ve started and I’m only halfway through. Its killing me. I’ve read other trilogies in less than 36 hours. The books are interesting enough, but seriously slow goings. I’m hoping to at least finish them by the end of the month. This way, when I order the NetFlix of the first movie, which I currently assume will be faster-paced, I can call it a personal April Fool’s joke when its just as slow and tedious. Still looking forward to it. Anyway, here are my thoughts so far:

*Disclaimer: You thought I was going to say “Spoiler Alert” didn’t you? Quite the opposite. I’m not gonna ruin anything. Scout’s Honor (I was a Girl Scout for about a week, that counts right?).*

1. The books take place in Sweden. EVERYTHING is purchased at Ikea. Its ridic. You don’t read American books where every scrap of furniture is shouted out as having originated at Sears.
2. The books take place in Sweden. (Yes I re-wrote that on purpose. For effect.) Apparantly “Svensson” and “Johansson” are very common last names and “Nils” is a very common first name. These names are probably the American equivalent to (or is it equivalent of?) “Smith,” “Johnson,” and “Mike.” HOWEVER, naming a main character “Svensson,” then naming another, albeit inconsequential, character “Svensson” is terribly confusing. Especially when they are only referred to by their last name. All of sudden its like, “Svensson drove North towards Flakenboppin” and you’re all like, “What? I thought Svensson was in Frickendloppin.”
3. The books take place in Sweden (noticing a pattern?). All the streets, cities, areas, and stores (besides the all-familiar Ikea) have a name like “Kleppenoggin” and “Poopensnottin.” Extremely difficult to remember where everyone is at all times. Plus, I don’t know about you, but I hate it when I can’t pronounce something, even if its in my head.
4. Sweden is the country that never sleeps. And the books take place in Sweden (I switched it up. See what I did there?). Seemingly, the Swedish never consume any beverage other than coffee. Ever. Every character is forever making coffee, drinking coffee, offering coffee, stopping for coffee, and turning on the coffee maker. No matter what time of day or night. Coffee, coffee, coffee. Ironically, constantly reading about coffee is exhausting.
5. I wish Stieg Larsson had hired Jennifer M. Eaton’s beta reader to deal with his characters’ incessant coffee consumption. (For the record, I wish I could hire her beta reader)

If I ever make it to Sweden, do you think I might happen upon a “Dragon Tattoo Tour” in which a tour guide by the name of Nils Svensson-Johansson brings me to an Ikea in Glikkensnoppen for coffee?

Next blog post will include something about my nifty little novel. Probably a summary of Chapter 6. Or maybe something completely random. I’m open to suggestions. : )